Title: Want
Author: Deby
Email: supra@media-net.net
Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm so rich from making money off these guys... that's why I
bust my butt 16 hours a day driving a truck. If you believe that, I have some
swamp land in Nevada to sell you too. Don't own 'em, but I'll send them home
when I get done playing with them. I don't own the lyrics to the deftones song
either, they do.
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: post Movie
Summary: Logan/Rogue shipper friendly... some angst on both sides.
Notes: WARNING!! If you are under 18 or have delicate sensibilities you should
stop now. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Don't email me & flame me about the sex, this is
your final warning.
here I lay...
still and breathless
just like always...
still I want some more
deftones
Longing. A dull throbbing ache in her body, one that she could not describe or
ignore. Images she did not know flashed through her mind as she moved restlessly
in her bed. Small hands roamed over her own body as she responded to the
thoughts and knowledge that filled her head, those memories that came from
Logan. Flesh on flesh, the images of two bodies joining and satisfying each
other. 'Oh God....' Rogue's mind triggered responses from her body that she
should not know, ones she had never felt before. Delicate hands roamed down her
body on their own violation to skip and tease over her own skin.
"Logan... please...." Her body arched and bucked against the bed, kicking the
sheet to the floor, baring her body to the silver moonlight that streamed
through the window. As if in response to her cry, her door opens and he steps
into the room, brought up short by the image before his eyes. "Rogue" her name
is a reverent prayer on his lips, his own body growing harder in response to the
sight before him. Crossing to her bed, he sits down on the edge beside her,
watching her writhe and moan as her hands wander over her body in search of
something, what, she does not know exactly. Release from this ache, freedom from
this confusion. At the same time never wanting it to end, wanting more, striving
for something. A tightness grips his chest as he watches, her head thrown back,
teeth gritted and bared, thick auburn hair with a shockingly white streak in a
wild disarray over the pillow. Her chest heaving with each breath of air,
raising rose tipped breasts toward the sky as one hand skims over her flesh
while the other grips the bed sheet in a knotted fist as she seeks release from
the unknown.
Gazing down at her aching body, Logan leans over her and whispers into her ear,
his hot breath brushing over her ear and cheek. "Rogue....Shhh.... it's ok baby.
I'll help you..." As he speaks, his left hand comes up and trails finger tips up
the inside surface of her leg, tracing small circles and lines over her silken
skin, raising goose flesh and a keening cry from her lips. "Logan... help me...
please?" Her pleading tugged at his heart and he stood up to quickly remove his
clothing before laying next to her on the bed, drawing her quivering body close
against his. Her hands continue their onslaught on her own body, joining his
larger, calloused ones as they explored her curves together.
Bringing his head up, he places a soft kiss next to her delicate ear, working
his way down her jaw and to her lips, covering her mouth with his own as he
silently begs for entrance. His soft lips work against hers just as he slips one
long finger between her legs and flicks over her clit. Parting her lips on a
sharp gasp, he plunges his tongue deep into her mouth, almost devouring her with
his whole being. Deeping the kiss on a moan, her legs part, urging him on as she
arches her hips up to meet his hand. Sliding his finger down and further into
her folds, he teases her tight opening, half of his mind knowing she's a virgin
and he has to be careful, the other half of him, the animalistic half, demanding
that he part her legs and drive himself inside her, claiming her as his own.
Pulling her tighter against him, his own flesh swollen and throbbing painfully
against her hip, the silky skin driving him crazy as he thrusts involuntarily
against her. Traveling his mouth down her body, he pulls one swollen nipple into
his mouth, his teeth gripping it as his tongue laves and caresses it. Her hands
have moved to his head, gripping fistfuls of hair and pulling him closer to her
as she arches her chest up to meet his mouth. Her hips grind against his hand,
having lost their rythm long ago as her body looses what small grip it had on
control. Her breath coming in heaving gasps as a blinding rush of hot and cold
and light and dark consumes her and sweeps her away. "Logan.... oh God Logan."
He grips her close to him and holds her trembling body, whispering nonsense into
her ear as her body comes apart in his arms.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jerking awake, sheets twisted all around his legs, Logan sits up in the bed and
groans. "Not again" He wasn't sure if these new dreams were better or worse then
the old ones. At least the old ones, the nightmares that scared him to death,
didn't wake him up wanting things he could not have. At least then he didn't
wake up completely aroused and thinking about -her-. 'Rogue' he wondered how she
was, what she was doing. She took up more of his mind then he was willing to
admit and it frustrated him. Waking up like this, his body hard and trembling
from dreaming about her in his arms, making her sigh and scream his name. It was
torture, a sweet sort of torture, but it was driving him crazy. Burying his head
in his hands, his groan turns into a growl and he flings himself out of the bed
to get dressed.
Firing the motorcycle to life, he heads South... back to New York....back to
Rogue.... where he left his heart.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
... a few days later...
"NO!! Nooo...." Rogue snapped awake from the remains of the nightmare. They were
all the same, flashes and glimpses of the horror of Logan's past. She saw images
more terrifying in her sleep then she'd ever seen on tv or the movies. All
because Logan touched her, twice. Curling up on her side in the bed, her hand
slips under her night shirt to clutch the dog tag that hangs from her neck.
Closing her eyes against the last traces of the nightmare, she focuses on one
thing. 'Logan' she whispers, 'where are you?' She thinks about the time when she
tried to wake him from the terror that held him in his sleep and the fear on his
face when he woke to see her standing over him. The scream that tore from him as
he drove his claws through her chest. The sheer, absolute terror in his eyes
when he realized what he had done. She remembered how she tried to tell him she
was sorry, so sorry, but that she had to touch him. She needed his strength. His
power, so that she wouldn't die. She was scared, more frightened then she had
ever been in her whole life. She didn't want to die, but she didn't want to hurt
him like the poor boy she had kissed.
Shuddering at the memories, her mind skips ahead to the moment he saved her. She
was a heartbeat from dying and he held her, closer then anyone had ever held
her, and it saved her. Feeling the surge of love carried on his life force had
woken her and she had drawn from it like a vampire draining it's victim of
blood. 'Oh God, is that what I am? Just a tiny step from being a vampire?' The
idea is not a pleasent one and she curls tighter into her self. Clutching the
warm metal against her chest as tears slip down her cheek and across her nose.
Cries for herself, cries for Logan and cries because of this horrible crushing
weight in her chest. What she can only guess is a broken heart. 'I miss you so
much.'
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Swinging off the motorcycle and stretching his arms out, Logan looks around the
yard. It hasn't changed much really, it's late and all the kids are in their
rooms so the place is quiet. Stepping up to the door, he hesitates before
knocking. 'The point of no return' he tells himself. He's been thinking of this
moment for days but he can't help but feel a stab of apprehention. What if she's
not here anymore? What if she's fallen in love with someone? What if she's...
dead? No, she can't be, he'd know it, he'd feel it if she were dead. 'Don't be
an idiot Logan, you're not telepathic' he chides himself. 'Now knock on that
damn door and get moving.' Raising his hand he knocks and the door opens under
his hand.
Scott pulls the door open out from under Logan's hand and stares at him.
"Logan." Peering around his body, he spies his motorcycle and dives off the
porch. "My baby!!" he cries as he runs to the bike. Logan turns and stares in
amazement after him. That's more emotion then he thought the man was capable of.
Shrugging his shoulders, he walks into the mansion and stops. 'He's here... came
back... alive... Logan come here.' Shaking his head against the voices floating
around in it, he heads to the office of Professor Charles Xavier and steps
through the doors.
"Hello Logan, did you find any of the answers to your past?" The Professor
smiled at him from behind his desk, knowing that Logan had not been gone long
enough to find much of anything out. Six months is not a long time. Still, he
wanted to see what Logan would say. Sometimes letting a person speak tells more
about them then knowing their thoughts.
Standing by the door Logan shook his head, "No, but you knew that already,
didn't you. I came back because.... I left something here. Something I
discovered I needed more then answers to a past I don't really want to
remember." He pauses and glances around the room, "Where is she?"
Nodding slightly and smiling, Xavier wheels out from around his desk and motions
to the door, "Rogue is in her room. It's on the third floor, the last one on the
right in the East end." He pauses for a moment and continues, "Logan, she's
missed you very much."
With a nod, Logan disappears out of the office and heads for the stairs. Taking
them three at a time, he comes to the third floor and heads down the hallway to
her room. About thirty feet from her door he slows, his ears picking up a sound
out of place in the silence of the sleeping mansion. Stopping at her door he
places his hand on the cool surface and listens.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sobs shake her body, causing her to hiccup and gasp for air as she cries out
loud. Whispering his name through her tears, she rocks back and forth slightly,
trying to comfort herself. She could barely remember the last time she was held
by her Mother as a little girl, before her mutant powers activated. The only
memory she really had was that of Logan holding her on the torch of the Statue
of Liberty. Remembering how his arms felt, cradling her close, how his lips and
cheek felt pressed against her forehead as he willed her to live. Wrapped in
these memories, she doesn't hear the door open and close gently behind her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Good God she's crying. Closing his eyes, he rests his head against the door and
takes a tight rein on his emotions. He wants nothing more then to charge into
her room and pull her close but he doesn't want to scare her either. Grasping
the doorknob he enters the room and stands beside her bed, looking at her. She's
changed some, matured some perhaps. She's turning into a woman, he thinks. A
woman cursed to never know what it's like to be made love to. Cursing inwardly
at the unfairness of it all, he kneels beside the bed and slowly reaches a hand
out to touch her blanket covered shoulder.
Gasping at the touch, Rogue rolls over, her hand raised and ready to strike. She
freezes in mid-attack when she comes eye to eye with Logan. Time seems to stop
as her arm drifts down to the bed and she stares at him. He's kneeling on the
floor, his chin resting on his arm, which is laying on the bed. He looks at her
through brown eyes filled with concern and compassion and something more. Love?
Hope? Fear? She cannot tell. Stretching a hand out, it stops just short of
touching him.
"Logan? Are you really here?" Her voice trembles as she speaks and he gazes at
her. Her eyes are red and tear filled, stains mark her cheeks where the tears
had ran and he wishes he could reach up to kiss them away. Caressing her arm
through the blanket, he smiles gently at her.
"I'm really back Rogue. I missed you too much to stay away." Easing himself up
on to the bed, he lays next to her. Pulling her close to him, taking care that
the blanket stays between them. Wanting more then anything that he could rip it
away and hold her bare skin against his own. His body tightens at the thought
and he wraps his arm around her waist to pull her closer.
She snuggles up to his warm body wishing she could touch him, but knowing this
would have to do for now. Until she found a way to control her powers, or stop
them altogether. Closing her eyes, she smiles as she feels Logan cradle her hips
with his own and the tiny tremors that run through him. His nightmares aren't
the only memories she inherited from him. She'll never forget that moment in
physics class when a shot of him memory struck her. Vivid images of his body
straining over that of a woman. The memory was so intense that she could smell
the sex in the air. Her intial shock gave way to lust and her body flushed such
a deep red, that one of her classmates noticed and asked if she was ok. A small
snicker escapes her and Logan murmers against her back. "What's so funny?"
Clamping her teeth over her lip, Rogue fights for control over her laughter.
After a few moments she asks innocently, "I think I'm jealous of Shelly with the
cheap black wig." She nearly bit her lip off at Logan's startled gasp and curse.
'Oh...my...God' he thinks. She really saw -that-??!! Raising up, he flips her
onto her back under him and holds her down with his body, the blanket still
wrapped around her like a cocoon. Gazing down at her, he is suddenly aware of
her body pressing into his at all the right, or is that wrong, places. "Darlin',
you're driving me crazy" he whispers and rolls back off of her before he is
tempted to push things beyond their allowable limits. Sliding an arm around her
waist again, he rests his head on the pillow beside hers and smiles slightly. "I
told you I would be back, didn't I?"
Looking over at him with big dark eyes, she nods. "Yes you did."
"Go to sleep darlin', I'll still be here when you wake up. You see, I can't
leave again because you have something of mine and I don't mean that tag. You
stole my heart before you took my memories or my powers and I didn't realize it
until I was gone and searching for a past that scared me. In the dead of night,
when I was alone, I thought about you. Wishing you were there with me. Wishing I
could hold you, kiss you, make love to you. The more I thought about you, the
less I wanted to search out that past that mutilated my body along with my soul
and the more I wanted to be with you. So hear I am babe, and I don't know that I
ever want to leave again. Now go to sleep and tomorrow we'll start finding a way
for me to make those other two wishes of mine come true."
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